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I think I’m going to write a book called “‘Four Hours Is Definitely Enough Sleep’ And Other Lies I Tell Myself”
If I reply with “oh” I either don’t give a fuck or I feel like i’ve been punched in the throat
two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says “man, i can’t believe i blew thirty bucks in there”.
this literally took me forever to get
spelling bee administrator: you word is delicious
me: D to the E to the L I C I O U S to the D to the E to the to the to the
spelling bee administrator: hit it fergie
do u ever put on a shirt and look in the mirror and go
"no. this does not represent the full potential of my boobs"
"MY BOOBS CAN LOOK MORE IMPRESSIVE THAN THIS"
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